Name: Nick Kerry
Organisation:
Award Category: Midwife Of The Year
Sponsored By:
Voting Is Now Closed
My Plea:
I was once described as the Midwife no one wants to meet! I know this is true, but I am passionate about supporting families. And, while it is incredibly hard, I feel privileged to be able to care for mums and dads at the lowest point of their lives.
I’ve cradled angels, bathed them, dressed them, taken photos, and made footprint casts. I’ve wiped tears, held hands, provided pain relief, and encouraged one more push. I’ve heard cries from parents that I will never forget. I think about families that were once strangers and how I became one of only a couple of people in the world who held their most precious, treasured babies. I have cried from sadness, frustration, anger, worry, and I still wouldn’t change helping and supporting families.
The fact that I have been nominated and shortlisted for Midwife of the Year is humbling. I don’t feel worthy of such recognition. My only hope is that on a family’s worst day, I gave them the support, choice, compassion and kindness that they needed. And, in the days, months and years that follow I hope their memories are positive.
My name is Nick (Nicola) Kerry. I am a Bereavement Midwife for North Lincolnshire and Goole Hospitals (NLaG) and am currently on secondment with the Healthcare Safety Investigation Branch (HSIB). HSIB improves safety in the NHS by doing independent investigations that don’t apportion blame or liability.
I started my midwifery journey in 2005 as a Maternity care assistant in Oxfordshire where I then went on to complete my training. On qualification I moved back to my hometown in South Yorkshire and in my later years have been working across Northern Lincolnshire.
As a qualified Midwife I have worked in all areas of midwifery including labour ward, antenatal, postnatal, clinic, community, triage and clinical education. I was a Supervisor of Midwives and I have also supported training and lecturing at Sheffield Hallam, Hull and Lincoln Universities.
I became more aware of bereavement in midwifery six years ago, when one day I took a call which changed my life forever.
One of my friends, who was 36 weeks pregnant, rang me panicked and stressed because she hadn’t felt her baby move for 48 hours. I told her to see her midwife immediately, though I feared the worse. Surely babies don’t die in this day and age!
How naive could I have been? I’m embarrassed but bereavement care was never touched on as a student. I genuinely had no idea. I just assumed that in a world where medical miracles happen daily it would be perfectly organised – Gold standard, priority care for the families facing the worst situation. But it didn’t appear like that. My friend sobbed down the phone, “She’s died! They made me take tablets just to make sure and I have been sent home for 48 hours. Then I have to go back”. I couldn’t believe we just send families home alone with their babies on board? Knowing they have died? Then leave them 36/48 hours alone! How is that something that we do?!
So I decided to do something about it, and help those families who were getting minimal support, where google was their only trusted source of information.
In collaboration with families I developed a butterfly symbol, used as an identifier for a family bereaved at a glance. It’s added to doors so that ALL staff, even those that don’t attend clinical hand overs, are aware of the situation. It’s reduced any unwanted interruptions and inappropriate comments which sadly many of my families spoke about. They were also clear that the symbol should be positive and not cause any distress to other families and only placed on the door with the family’s consent.
The next project families asked for was appropriate information, in bite sized chunks that focused on what was important and needed. Clear instructions to what had to be done, what could be done and incorporated memory making and compassion. This started life as the ‘Grace Project’ and has been developed and amended and is now in operation as the ‘Cherished pack’.
Antoinette Sandbach MP was informed about the work we were doing and I was invited to Westminster to discuss and show her the packs along with the all-party parliamentary group on baby loss. It was the scariest most amazing experience being in Westminster presenting our project which was needs led, evidence based, and research informed. The National Bereavement Care Pathway now uses our Grace project as a starting point and have developed this further to become a Gold Standard. It’s helped create a national approach to bereavement care in conjunction with RCOG, NMC, RCM and DHSC. This has been one of my proudest accomplishments.
I’m also delighted that my trust was a pilot site for the National Bereavement Care Pathway which keeps parents at the centre of everything we do. We had excellent patent feedback and now other trusts are signing up to the pathway across England.
Understanding what families have lost is vital, miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal deaths are not statistics they are lives that have been lost and supporting families is a team effort especially in subsequent pregnancies, which is a time for heightened anxiety, stress and worry. Scans and milestones being little or no comfort. Fortunately, in 2018 we welcomed 58 rainbow babies safely into the world and became the first ‘rainbow clinic’ not funded by a charity. The clinic links with consultant care, the perinatal mental health midwife and provides continuity of care, and, above all compassion and kindness to families.
I put together rainbow bundles to give to families upon safe arrival of their babies with help of local knitters and charity donations. I secured funding for mama academy wallets for a year, helped raise more than £170,000 for a new bespoke bereavement suite which opened in July. We welcomed charity support from The Health Tree Foundation, 4Louis, Beyond Bea, Sands, Aching Arms, Angel Gowns, Lexi Dolls, Abigail’s footsteps, Remember my babies, Butterfly books for baby loss and many more. Without collaboration the services would be less than its best.
One of the biggest changes I feel passionate about is education. Educating the public, health care professionals and students to break the silence. Teaching and sharing knowledge is so powerful and rewarding and I am proud to be a trustee for Beyond Bea, which is an amazing charity providing education to health care professionals and students.
On a personal note I would like to say that having held angels and knowing what families have lost has made me feel personally responsible. This personal toll prompted me to look for other ways to support families and reduce the need for bereavement care by improving safety and supporting safer care nationally. That’s why I joined HSIB. A few HSIB colleagues attended my trust and delivered a presentation which demonstrated to me how I could make a difference nationally. I am delighted to be part of the HSIB team having the opportunity to learn and develop quality investigative skills, understanding and acknowledging human factors, supporting staff and maternity services whilst also keeping families at the centre of everything we do.
If we can make learning from incidents national and make clear achievable recommendations to improve safety across the NHS this in turn will reduce bereavement and the loss of babies nationally, which is something I am honoured to be part of.
I hate that bereavement care is needed but at the same time when it is, families deserve the very best care possible. I love helping families and I’m passionate about making positive changes nationally. Even if I am known as the Midwife no one wants to meet, then my promise to you is I will do everything in my power to help you remember your angel and your time together in a positive way.
I’d also like to thank those families I have met. I want to thank them for the honour of meeting their angels. I’m blown away by their bravery, strength, and love. It is they who have inspired me to continue.
Thank you
Nick xxx
What Others Have Said
Nick supported me through the loss of my twins in March 2018. I was distraught and confused and she helped us work out how we could say goodbye to our girls and build them into our lives for the future. Her kindness and openness with our loss made it easier and enabled us to speak about our babies. Nick then supported me through my next pregnancy and the birth of my rainbow baby. This support was invaluable, always there to check in with and understood the emotional rollercoaster my pregnancy was.
Words cant describe Nick, she is the most compassionate, caring, thoughtful person I know. When we lost Beau in 2018, she helped us in ways I cant ever explain, no one else could comprehend our loss, no one else knew how to support us. Nick did, she spent hours listening to me cry, she comforted me, acknowledged my son, which shockingly many didnt.
I had lost all faith in the one place that was meant to keep me and my baby safe, but Nick gave me hope. She helped me realize that wanting another baby was not wrong, and she was ALWAYS there for us. I joke that with Nick I wouldnt be of got pregnant without Nick, she was the only solid, stable person continually there for us. We fell pregnant with our beautiful rainbow Arlo, Nick was there every second of it, she knew my fears, she reassured me, she would just know when I was having hard days. Nick voiced my concerns, she shouted them when I wasnt strong enough too. Our beautiful boy Arlo entered the world a week before Beaus first birthday.
Myself, my husband and our children will be eternally grateful to this lady, she will never understand truly how much she helped us in both our greiving journey and pregnancy after loss.
My mummy is kind and helps people (5)
Amazing work, you are an inspiration x
A wonderful person
Good luck hun x you deserve this x x.
Just such a wonderful lady. Supported me after the loss of my angel esme and supported my through my rainbow pregnancy and birth! Without nik I wouldn’t have been so calm.
Good luck Nick you’ve done amazing work xx
Nick is incredible! Although shes doesnt work at our hospital, the day we said goodbye to our daughter, Nick came to the hospital on her day off to help us make precious memories with Alice. She even tended to Alice before the funeral, casting her hands and feet. She continues to offer us so much support and kindness. Nick you are my inspiration for the fund raising and for the pure kindness you offer, the world would be a much better place if there were more Angel’s like Nick Kerry in it.
All the very best of luck x
Good luck nick..you was their on the end of the phone when I needed you, even though you had flu and felt rubbish thank you.
The most incredible woman. She becomes part of the family, and welcomes you with open arms into hers. So brave and wise, no better person to have with you on a journey x
I have only recently had the privilege to know Nick. She is committed to her work and the belief improvements can and must be made.
Good luck Nick you do an amazing job.
Nick is the most inspirational lady I know. Nothing is ever too much trouble to her regardless of how busy her life is. She thoroughly deserves this award.
I’ve known Nick only a short time as a colleague at HSIB and whilst I knew her general background reading this has astounded me and touched my heart. As a Coroner’s officer in my previous role I understand what a difference the right bereavement care can mean to a family. Nick your selfless dedication is an absolute credit to you and we are lucky to have you on our team at HSIB. You have my vote 100%. ♥️
Nick was there for us when we lost our little girl Lily at 6 months. She helped us come to terms with our loss and was there for us in so many ways. I will never forget Nick she is such an amazing person.
Nick was there when my daughter lost her baby. It died in the womb one day before it could be registered as a stillbirth. Nick was the only person she could turn to who understood & helped her through the heartbreaking process of knowing her baby would not survive but having to wait until it died before she gave birth. We named the baby Lily & had a small funeral for her. Nick was there for my daughter all the way & I can’t thank her enough for all she did. I vote for her with all my heart and hope she continues in her wonderful work for bereaved parents. Thank you Nick. Xx
Nick is completely amazing! XX
Nick is such amazing lady she helped us through the most difficult time losing our little girl Elsie , she really was someone we could turn to for anything and was there for us through our next pregnancy too , We are so grateful to Nick , she truly is a wonderful women xx ?
Nick you’re an inspiration xxx
I have no words to say! Your amazing ♥️♥️
The first time I met Nick I was sat on a hospital bed on the worst day of my life, I couldn’t even look her in the eye at first. I could only stare at her shoes which were bright and colourful and for the first time since I had been told my son my son had passed I had a little smile at those shoes. From there bit by bit she helped me crawl out of a very dark hole and never once judged anything I said, she helped remind me of the strong woman I once was and helped me find her again.
When I saw a job come up at the hospital I decided to go for it as I wanted to give back to people just like Nick had given back to me and I got it. While working there I had the pleasure of working with Nick and it only solidified to me that she is a very special person. In the last year she has worked so hard opening up the bereavement suite at Scunthorpe hospital, creating new policies to help everyone understand what to do in certain situations and in general just advocating for the parents. I hope Nick wins this as it would be nice for her to get some recognition for everything she does for unfortunately too many people including myself she is a true star and I am proud to say a friend ⭐️? ?
The most amazing friend and midwife ?? she works so hard and has a heart of gold x
I honestly believe Nick was put on this earth by God to offer light in true darkness. I believe she was given as one of the most precious gifts that could ever be offered. I feel truly blessed to have Nick in my life and for her to have guided me through the most difficult time in my life. I am so thankful for you Nick and feel the world is a safer and more compassionate place with you in it xx